He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
