Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
