Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
