I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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