I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
