rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
