why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
