you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My liver just had a heart attack.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
