People in love make me want to vomit
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
