"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This baby is an asshole
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
