i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
