i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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