whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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