Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
