ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
