My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
