im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
