Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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