Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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