Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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