I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
