She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize