lets start a swedish sibling band together
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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