Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize