i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
