You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
