it was like eating out sand paper
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
