Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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