Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
pray to the hookup gods
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
