All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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