Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
