eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize