im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
