I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
