eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
