I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
