And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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