Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
