Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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