There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
