At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize