I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
