so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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