is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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