I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize