ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
soo... how was my night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
