oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
