Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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