please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
