He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
