just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
