Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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