I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
