just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
