i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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