Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
