dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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