Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
