I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
