I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
