Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
